Gargoyles and Dimwits
by CrazyToaOfAir
Summary: The Gargoyles have a new and terrifying enemy... the dimwit's! Getting drunk on cheese isn't the half of it. Can the Gargoyles stand up to the dimwit's stupidness and exploding potatoes? K


"I've got dimwits, dimwits, dimwits…" sang a dimwit in a museum. The museum was in Antone's dimwit chamber. Dimwit's sang, drank dimwit alcohol, ordered Double Dimwit Pizza, and dimwitted each other. They had a nice dim life. One dimwit was called Dimbit. He loved being who he was. He was dimmer than any of the other dimwits. He imagined being free and going to a nice luxury dimwit hotel, which didn't exist. And there was another dimwit named Dumbabit. Everyone liked crowding around the stupid old codger to hear him tell a story before bed. There was also a very weak dimwit named Tiny. He was as big as Goliath, leader of a gargoyle clan. Only Tiny could break out of their museum, but of course the dimwit's didn't know this until after Tiny died of old age… Goliath wouldn't have been able to break it open if he tried. One day, Tiny's descendant was born and 5 minutes later, punched someone into a wall, breaking it.

"Freedom!" yelled Dimbit, running out into the city. Suddenly, the invisible museum was visible.

"Let's go to Double Dimwit pizza! I can't wait to meet other dimwits!" Said a dimwit who didn't know that they would meet humans.

"Let's sing the national dimwit anthem!"

"There will always be a dimwit,

Doesn't matter stupid or smart

We are better than Dimbit

We are stupid

And idiotic

While my brother

Is psychotic,

We will always prevail!

We shall never

Everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Fail! Always prevail!

DIMWITS!" The entire crowd of dimwit's chorused. Seconds later…

"Put your hands above your head and freeze!" A cop said.

Much too all the humans surprise, all the dimwits were suddenly frozen in a block of ice.

Tiny's descendant walked out with his diaper on the wrong way. Lasers suddenly shot out of his hand, blowing up random street lights.

"Catch that baby!"

Two cops ended up bonking heads with each other when the baby disappeared at the last moment.

"Where'd he go?!" a cop yelled.

The world looked all yellow.

"It's humans! Fire the potatoes!" a dimwit yelled. Unknown to the humans, they were teleported to Dimwitopilas by Tiny's descendant.

Meanwhile…

"WE MUST INVESTIGATE!" Goliath boomed.

"Stop acting like a pirate Goliath, that book might have been good but still…" Brooklyn said.

"There is treasure on the high seas of rock! Fire the cannons! We must get our treasure!" Goliath continued while picking up Lexington.

"Hey, let go of me Goliath!" Lexington said.

"The cannonball is reluctant! Put in some more juice!" Goliath said while holding Lexington in the air. In a few moments, Lexington was hurtling diagonally to the ground.

Broadway flew over to catch Lexington while Brooklyn and Angela were just staring at Goliath who had unsheathed a sword.

Eliza arrived. Goliath was suddenly acting normal, and the sword disappeared.

But before Eliza said hi…

"My princess… how fares thee?" said Goliath who suddenly had a knight's armor and shield on.

"Uh…"

"Eliza! Don't listen to him! He's drunk on cheese!" Brooklyn suddenly shouted.

Goliath turned to Angela.

"I…"

Everyone stared, waiting for him to spill the beans.

"Am your father!" Goliath said. Everyone suddenly fell.

"Don't listen to him! He's drunk on cheese!" Brooklyn said in a harsh voice.

Xanatos came up.

"Goliath! I want you to find David and Goliath who are in Manhattan right now."

"What are you talking about?" said Goliath.

"Don't listen to him! He's drunk on sandwiches that have cheese!" Brooklyn yelled.

Hudson came up.

"Bronks, let's watch the nature program!" And with that, Hudson and Bronks left.

"It's almost dawn! Everyone, get into your positions!" Goliath said.

Everyone did. But Hudson and Bronks were watching the nature program. And for some reason, while they were watching TV, they didn't turn to stone. Couch potato power rules all. Suddenly the TV screen blurted out…

"You KNOW you need it! It's so special and new! It's a GOLDEN RIMMED TOILET only for the very best an-"

"Isn't there anything good on TV nowadays?" Hudson muttered.

"You just can't wait for daylight savings when the days get shorter and the nights get longer! To learn more about daylight savings, go to daylight savings!"

Hudson sighed and turned the TV off. And turned to stone.


End file.
